Just Another Stupid Christmas

People opine the lack of new Christmas songs.  They’re out there … if you look a little deeper.

It’s that magical time of year when the winter air is once again filled with the likes of Perry Como, Andy Williams, and Bing Crosby.  Across the nation, whether its shopping centers and malls, office Christmas parties, or radio stations that had shifted their formats to seasonal music on November 1st, we as a people have taken a respite from the traditional fare of Taylor Swift, Drake, and the Weeknd to once again steep ourselves in the nostalgia of Frank Sinatra, Burl Ives, and Gene Autry.  As I write this, the top three songs on the Billboard Hot 100 are Christmas songs by Brenda Lee, Mariah Carey, and Bobby Helms.  Yes, it’s the holiday season once more in America, and the traditional holiday playlist makes me want to eat a metaphorical bullet.

Let me just say it:  I hate traditional Christmas music.  Maybe it’s from my years of working retail.  I worked in stores before satellite radio, when corporate would provide a tape of chosen songs that they would play and replay over and over again on the in-house speakers.  By the end of my first week I had already heard them fifty times each, and that drip-drip-drip of audible water torture became unbearable.

(I still remember the Christmas I worked at Lord & Taylor where, right by my department, they placed a display of dancing Santas that were motion activated, meaning that every time a shopper would walk by the display model would begin dancing and playing “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree,” and because it was located by the entrance it was always playing.  I got in trouble quite a few times that season because I would frequently sneak over and unplug the little bastard when no one was looking.)

Whether we like it or not, familiarity does breed contempt.  I grew up in a society where the same handful of songs got played and replayed in movies and TV, on radio, and in my family’s living room when we opened gifts on Christmas Day.  And it’s not just the original tracks, as artist after artist will make covers of these same handful of songs every year and, most of the time, they sound like predictable mimicries of the originals.  And I’m not the only one who feels this way—David Wisdom, Canadian artist and former radio icon, had this to say in the 2013 documentary Jingle Bell Rocks! about the plague of formulaic holiday tunes:  “The worst music in the world is bad Christmas music because it’s insincere, it’s just out to make a buck, and it sounds like it.  And there’s tons of it.”  Added Bill Adler, music journalist and former director of publicity at Def Jam Recordings, in the same, aforementioned documentary: 

Y’know, I’m a Jewish guy, I married a gentile woman, I never had Christmas before.  I only really started to pay attention to it—particularly to the Christmas music—when we got married.  And I found the typical Christmas music grim in general, just terrible.  Even the great—and the great songs, the few great songs, were just beaten into the dirt through repetition.

I find that I have to agree with Adler on this point as, in the decades since their release, even unconventional classics like Run-D.M.C.’s “Christmas in Hollis,” Joni Mitchell’s “The River,” and the soundtrack to The Nightmare Before Christmas are becoming old, tired, clichéd, and overplayed.  Is there any respite from these Ghosts of Christmas’ Past?

The obvious response would be to find new holiday songs, but this can prove difficult, as while familiarity breeds contempt, it can also provide warmth and comfort, as David Wisdom reflected: 

To remember our childhood, to understand where we came from and why we’re here, there’s nothing like music for evoking memories of the past.  […] People like to hear the same thing at Christmas that they’ve heard before because that’s what Christmas is about—it’s about repeating the same thing, it’s about marking the year, it’s about traditions, it’s about rituals.

Unfortunately for new holiday songs, it can be difficult to get into the “Christmas Canon,” as Jonathan L. Fischer considered in a 2012 article in The New Republic: 

Many of what we consider Christmas standards—“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” “The Christmas Song,” “White Christmas”—were penned between the 1930s and 1950s, during the Tin Pan Alley and Brill Building eras of popular music.  But today new Christmas hits are rare, while the toasty old classics endure.  […] A great holiday song needs a lot of things—a hook, a voice—but the most important is feeling:  “All I Want for Christmas is You” would never work without its unguarded enthusiasm.  A song like “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home),” meanwhile, is powered by rawness and sorrow.  But the gradual secularization of Christmas in American culture has taken its toll on the music industry.  As the religious purpose of Christmas has gotten increasingly remote, pop songwriters seem to have less to say about it.

Sadly, this is probably why the last holiday song to become iconic was Mariah Carey’s little earworm—most people just want to be comfortable during the holiday season, and even those more adventurous types who want to find new music are probably distracted by the ten thousand chores that everyone needs to do before the big night (shopping, decorating, traveling, etc.).  New Christmas music needs an ally and, surprisingly, I am one.

The Outlaws of Xmas Rock ‘N’ Roll

I have a confession to make:  while I do hate traditional Christmas music, I do love holiday music—not all of it is specifically Christmas-related—in general, especially if it is different and unusual.  Over the years, I’ve learned that seasonal music doesn’t begin with Bing Crosby and end with Mariah Carey, and for every “nice” Christmas song out there, there’s an even better one on the “naughty” list.  In fact, the past 40 years have been a boon to the type of tunes I adore; as recorded by the aforementioned Fischer: 

Perhaps the only place where the Christmas song still thrives is an arena that should be allergic to its charms:  that supposed hotbed of irony and subversion, indie rock.  […] In the age of irony, indie rockers may be the only musicians with no cultural cachet to lose when it comes to Christmas.  If Christmas has been secularized to the point that its meaning has splintered, indie rockers are engaging with it in part to deconstruct it.  […] These songs poke at Christmas from the margins, and yet most of them end up telegraphing something earnest and true.

Building on his comments, I’d like to add that a good bit of unconventional material also comes from hip hop, country, and even new age artists as well.  You’d be shocked what is out there, as I’ve discovered over the past twenty or so years, as I’ve amassed a collection of seasonal music ranging from sentimental, to profane, to just plain bizarre.

The reason for my unusual hobby developed in an interesting way.  Years back, when I was in college, I wanted to get my friends Christmas gifts, but I was unable to because I was broke.  This was back in the late ‘90s and—with a handful of tracks by Adam Sandler, Tori Amos, and South Park—I had an idea.  Pooling my MP3s together, I created a mix tape (okay, it was a CD, but “mix CD” just doesn’t sound right) that I called Just Another Stupid Christmas, which was a dig at the A Very Special Christmas collections that were popular in the ‘80s and ‘90s.  It went over well enough, and a few years later I made another one.  And another one.  And, before long, I had a catalogue of twenty-one Just Another Stupid Christmas collections, as well as a ten year anniversary “best of” anthology.

It became my personal tradition—to offer an alternative, a different soundtrack.  To bring holiday cheer that wasn’t bound by tradition and mired in our expectations.  It never occurred to me that there might be other weirdos that did this sort of thing, so imagine my surprise when I discovered in 2013 that I was, in fact, a part of a rather broad, invisible fraternity: 

It warmed my heart to know that there were others who searched for and cared about these obscure songs; people that also scoured record shops, YouTube, and swap meets to find something new.  Something different.  And so, as an alternative to the same old, same old that we’re being spoon fed from the usual holiday trough, I’m offering a sampler, an Advent calendar that I call my “Just Another Stupid Christmas Countdown.”  One new song for each day leading up to the big event:

December 1st: "Maybe This Christmas," by Ron Sexsmith

In my experience, it’s the anticipation of the holiday season that’s the best, as the actual day is rather anticlimactic.  I like the buildup; I like the promise of that a new holiday season offers.  On December 1st, we have a bright, unblemished calendar page in front of us, which is why the message of hope from this song—released on the 2002 compilation album of the same name—is powerful. Honorable mention: Kate Bush's "December Will Be Magic Again."

December 2nd:  mc chris, “Christmas Vacation”

Originally released as an online exclusive and later as part of 2012’s compilation album Apple Lung, nerdcore rapper mc chris (creator of the underground Star Wars-themed track “Fette’s Vette”) released a cover version of “Christmas Vacation,” originally by Mavis Staples.  While it’s hard to top the original track from the seminal Chevy Chase classic film, this song—with a musical accompaniment that sounds straight out of an eight-bit Nintendo game—rocks.

December 3rd:  Happy Fangs, “All I Want for Christmas is Halloween”

Some of my favorite people are the ones that would celebrate spooky season all year long if given the opportunity, so this track—released as a single in 2013—is for them.  So, let’s pour one out for the Halloween people—the vampires, the werewolves, and the goth girls who won’t return my calls.  Honorable mentions:  Romeo Spike’s “Christmas Diablo” and Count D.’s “The Christmas Witch.”

December 4th:  The Killers, “A Great Big Sled” (with Toni Halliday)

For over a decade (2006 to 2016), the Las Vegas-based rock band the Killers created and released an original Christmas song once a year, with proceeds benefiting the Product Red campaign, an organization dedicated to fighting the spread of AIDS in Africa.  While some were more popular than others—“Don’t Shoot Me Santa” comes to mind—I’ve always had a fondness for their first track, a song about how Christmas changes as you get older, and how desperately we want it to mean the same thing it did back then.

Originally available as an iTunes exclusive, it was later released on the (RED) Christmas EP (2011) and Don't Waste Your Wishes (2016). Honorable mentions:  “Joseph, Better You Than Me,” “Christmas in L.A.,” and “Joel the Lump of Coal.”

December 5th:  Sarah McLachlan, “Wintersong”

One thing that bothers me about holiday music is that most artists looking to cash in release the same damn album every time; it’s always the same dozen or so “classic” songs.  I mean, is there really that much difference between Sarah’s version of “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” and the Carpenters?  Or Kelly Clarkson?  Or Johnny Mathis?  Pumping out an album of already-worn covers is lazy.

Fortunately, most artists will sneak in an original composition among the copies, which is what “Wintersong” is.  This track, a sad aubade featuring the artist recalling her time with a lost love during the holidays, is worth more and feels more authentic than every other song on the 2006 album of the same name.  At least we live in a time when we can just buy the one song digitally rather than be saddled with the whole album like the old days.  Honorable mentions:  Melissa Etheridge’s “Christmas in America,” Bob Dylan’s “Must Be Santa,” and Aimee Mann's "Calling on Mary" and "Whatever Happened to Christmas?"

December 6th:  Eels, “Christmas is Going to the Dogs”

Again, most holiday soundtracks default to the same lazy choices, but the 2000 soundtrack to Jim Carrey’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas made some daring ones by using original tracks.  And while there are some really great songs on there, this track—about how man’s best friend would perceive the holidays—is my favorite.  Honorable mentions:  Ben Folds’ “Lonely Christmas Eve” and Smash Mouth’s “Better Do It Right.”

December 7th:  Jill Sobule, “Jesus Was a Dreidel Spinner”

For the first night of Hanukkah, regardless of our opinions regarding Mideast politics, we should be there for our Jewish friends and family and tell them that they matter; that we care about them.  And this track—a song reminding us of the Christian savior’s heritage and calling for unity between the faiths—is one way to do it.  This song was one of the first to inspire my interest in seasonal music that some would consider unusual and subversive.  Of course, this song also inspired my interest in bisexual artists, so that’s another check in this song’s favor.

This song was originally intended for the 1995 holiday compliation You Sleigh Me!, but it was cut and replaced with her awesome cover of Robert Earl Keen’s “Merry Christmas from the Family.” It found new life as an Internet exclusive, though it was eventually released on several of her EPs. Honorable mention:  “Christmas is the Saddest Day of the Year.”

December 8th:  Steve Martin, Paul Simon, and Billy Joel, “Silver Bells (What Christmas Means to Me)”

This one is a gem.  According to a 2001 interview with Billy Joel for American Airline’s American Way magazine, this track came to be 40 years ago when Billy Joel and his producer [possibly Phil Ramone] ran into Steve Martin and Paul Simon at a New York restaurant.  After several bottles of wine, they decided it would be a good idea to return to A&R Studios and “record a Christmas record.”  The resulting track features Paul singing and Billy playing piano and harmonizing, while Steve ad-libbed a hilarious and disturbing monologue about what Christmas means to him.  According to Billy, “Paul and I [were] just trying to keep it together” while Steve recounted the joys of traffic accidents on icy streets, free love, and casual indifference to the world while drinking Egg Nog and tequila.

Never officially released, this bootleg somehow made it out into the world, and God bless the magic elf that made that happen.

December 9th:  Twiztid, “Christmas in the Hood” (with Blaze, Lavel, ROC, and Wolfpac)

Now, I’m not a Juggalo, but their Christmas tracks are a lovely, filthy, horribly offensive, ultra-violent party.  So, let’s grab some Faygo and click the video.  Originally released as part of the 2009 Cryptic Collection: Holiday Edition. Honorable mentions:  Insane Clown Posse’s “Santa’s a Fat Bitch” and Twiztid’s “Fuck You It’s Christmas” and “Ryda Holiday.”

December 10th:  Ray Charles, “That Spirit of Christmas”

Originally released on his 1985 album The Spirit of Christmas. I have another confession to make:  I may present myself as a cynic, but I’m secretly a romantic.  I want to look at the world through an idealized, rose-tinted lens, but all I see are frightened, broken people trying to survive in an uncaring universe.  This is why Ray’s earnest plea, to extend the feelings of holiday cheer and good will from one day to the entire calendar year, gets to me.  After all, “What a wonderful feelin’ / Watching the ones we love / Having so much fun / […] Why can’t it remain / All through the year?” (lines 4-6, 12-13).

Another reason I love this song is because of its use in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, in the scene where Clark Griswold, who is trapped in the freezing attic while his family is out holiday shopping, is watching home movies of his childhood Christmases on an old film projector.  This is arguably the first time in this film where this comedic maniac actually comes across as a sympathetic protagonist; you can finally understand his motivations for wanting to create the perfect holiday for his family.  Brings me to tears every time.

December 11th:  Harvey Danger, “Sometimes You Have to Work on Christmas (Sometimes)”

This track, originally released on the Kevin and Bean holiday compilation Santa’s Swingin’ Sack (1998) by the Flagpole Sitta himself, this song deals with the struggles of working on Christmas Day.  Speaking as someone who’s worked both customer service and retail, I’ve had to work during the holidays—hell, I’ve had to work during holidays—and it always sucks.  There’s too many people, it’s crowded, and everyone’s irate.  As previously stated, the in-store holiday muzak is terrible.  And, worst of all, most places won’t pay you time-and-a-half.  So, this song goes out to the heroes who work on Christmas, thus allowing us to still go to the movies and get drive thru after.

December 12th:  Randy Stonehill, “Christmas at Denny’s”

Originally released on his 1989 album Return to Paradise, Randy Stonehill’s “Christmas at Denny’s” is a sad song, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  There’s always a place on my playlists for sad Christmas songs, and this one is much, much darker than “Christmas Shoes.”  In fact, this song, about a drifter finding a moment’s respite at Denny’s and reflecting on how he lost his family is really, really bleak.  I mean, check out these lyrics:  “They say / Life’s made of cruel circumstance / Fate plays a tune and we dance / Dance ‘til we drop / In the dust and we’re gone / And the world just goes on” (lines 50-55).  And it’s from a Christian artist, for God’s sake!  My hat comes off to you, sir.  Honorable mentions:  Merle Haggard’s “If We Make It Through December,” Dwight Yoakam’s “Santa Can’t Stay,” John Prine’s “Christmas in Prison,” Roy Orbison’s “Pretty Paper,” and Neal Casal’s “Cora Jones.”

December 13th:  Dance Hall Crashers, “I Did It for the Toys”

One thing I’ve noticed about seasonal music is the small, but growing, collection of Christmas songs about people who want to have sex with Santa Claus.  Of them, I think this track, featuring a Jewish girl having pity sex with Santa in the hopes of getting loot on Christmas Day, is the best.  Originally released on the 1998 album Blue Plate Special.  Honorable mentions:  Clarence Carter’s “Back Door Santa,” Stand Still’s “I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus,” Billy Idol’s “Yellin’ at the Christmas Tree,” The Smoking Flowers’ “Ho Ho Ho (A Bow and Nothing More),” and the Urchins’ “Christmas Crush.”

December 14th:  Rachael Yamagata, “Baby Come Find Me at Christmas”

Along the lines of the previous entry, I’m a sucker for a romantic Christmas song.  After all, the holiday season is when people check up on those that we care about, so what if you happen to discover that the person you reach out to still has feelings for you?  Released on the 2010 compilation Gift Wrapped, Vol. II:  Snowed In, Rachael Yamagata’s song about reigniting love in front of the Yule log is all of the romantic sentiment with none of the cheesy Hallmark movie often attached to it.  Honorable mention:  Andrew Joslyn & The Local Strangers’ “Under Mistletoe,” Tori Amos' "A Silent Night with You," and Cracker's "Merry Christmas Emily."

December 15th:  The LeeVees, “Goyim Friends”

For the last night of Hanukkah, I could have gone with one of the remakes of "The Dreidel Song," but this track—from the 2005 Hanukkah Rocks—is just too good to ignore.  A tongue-in-cheek comparison between Hanukkah and Christmas, the Jewish band laments the pageantry of the Christian holiday, but find solace in the fact that, in the end, they get more days off work during the calendar year.  Mazel tov!  Honorable mentions:  Adam Sandler’s “The Chanukah Song,” Another Man Down’s “The Dreydl Song,” and South Park’s “The Lonely Jew on Christmas.”

December 16th:  Rodney Crowell, “Christmas Everywhere” (with Lera Lynn)

In 2018, country singer Rodney Crowell released Christmas Everywhere, an album of original Christmas songs, and the title track is one of my favorites.  I like how the first few verses play out like a cute holiday song where the singer reveals what his family wants for Christmas, but then—before the final verse—the song shifts, and Lera Lynn comes in with the bridge, where she asks Santa for the impossible.  Quite the emotional gut punch in an overall happy tune.

December 17th:  LCD Soundsystem, “Christmas Will Break Your Heart”

Somehow, the holiday season is worse when you’re single and / or alone.  In a time when we’re supposed to gather with family, it’s not always an option.  Maybe you’re estranged, or your family is far away, or maybe they’re getting older and they’re not the same people you knew in your youth.  Perhaps the person who you thought was the love of your life has left you.  In those circumstances—waking up to an empty, undecorated home on Christmas morning—it’s the loneliest time of the year.  Honorable mentions:  Rodney Crowell’s “Merry Christmas from an Empty Bed,” Max Gomez’s “Season of My Memory,” Monica Moser's "Crave Your Light," and The Yawpers’ “Christmas in Oblivion.”

December 18th:  HAIM, “If It Be Your Will”

While not officially a seasonal song per se, the song appeared on the 2019 album Hanukkah+, so I’m counting it.  I’ve been a fan of the late singer / poet Leonard Cohen for years, and the Los Angeles-based group HAIM did the impossible—they took one of his tracks to the next level.  Cohen was never one to shy away from writing about spirituality and religion, and HAIM’s cover appearing on a Hanukkah-related album establishes it as the holiday song it deserves to be recognized as.  By either artist, it rarely fails to bring a tear to my eye—it’s a song about unrequited love, it’s a song about submission, it’s a song about surrender.  It’s a song about prayer.

December 19th:  The Pogues, “Fairytale of New York” (with Kirsty MacColl)

This song is particularly poignant this year, with the recent death of the band’s singer, Shane MacGowan.  Originally released on their 1988 album If I Should Fall from Grace with God, this bittersweet ballad begins in a jail cell, where the singer—who has lost his love presumably to drug abuse—dreams of the year before, where he and his lover got drunk and fell into a shouting match on the wintery streets of New York.  It got pretty heated but, in the end, the two lovers appear to have reconciled over the words “I built my dreams around you” (line 56).

Now, it is worth noting that the song does feature language that modern audiences may find offensive.  If that is the case, may I recommend the Ed Harcourt & KT Tunstall cover, in which the British slang word “blaggard” replaces the original lyric just fine.  Honorable mention:  “This Could Be Christmas,” by the So So Glos, featuring former Pogues member Spider Stacy.

December 20th:  Social Distortion, “When the Angels Sing”

While not officially a Christmas song, this track—about the singer’s attempts to reckon with death, mortality, and God themself—was always played by my local radio station on Christmas Day, so I can’t help but see the connection.  From the 1996 album White Light, White Heat, White Trash.

December 21st:  “Weird Al” Yankovic, “Christmas at Ground Zero”

Hey, remember when we all thought the world was going to end on December 21, 2012?  Considering the past eleven years, it might have been more merciful.  At any rate, “Weird Al’s” Reagan-era holiday song of Cold War hysteria and nuclear Armageddon plays better now than it did back then.  So … yay?  Honorable mention:  Heather Noel’s “Santa Came on a Nuclear Missile.”

December 22nd:  The Everly Brothers, “Christmas Eve Can Kill You”

Another sad Christmas song, this one is notable for its audacity.  Originally released on the 1972 album Stories We Could Tell, this one tells the tale of a freezing hitchhiker desperate to get home for Christmas, and the only car on the road just passes him by, leaving him to a potentially grim fate.  As an aside, I first learned about this song in a 2004 issue of Maxim Magazine, who had this to say about the track:  “The most depressing Christmas song in existence.  Do not listen to it with a loaded gun in the house.”  Honorable mention:  Tom Waits’ “Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis” (also mentioned in the same article).

December 23rd:  Corey Taylor, “X-M@$”

As much as I love holiday music, there’s always a place for the anti-Christmas song, and Slipknot’s Corey Taylor delivers with a track full of tongue-in-cheek venom that is as hilarious as it is sacrilegious.  Honorable mentions:  Local H’s “Disgruntled Christmas” and Oscar the Grouch’s “I Hate Christmas.”

December 24th:  Maxwell, Miranda, Parsley, “Christmas Time”

One of my favorite artists of the past twenty-five years is Ambrosia Parsley, best known for the song “Goodnight Moon,” which was with her former band, Shivaree.  In 2017, she—along with fellow musicians Chris Maxwell and Holly Miranda—released Catskill Christmas, an album of holiday songs as off-kilter as the rest of her catalogue.  And while I love the whole album, “Christmas Time” is probably my favorite.

I’ve always preferred Christmas Eve to Christmas Day, myself.  As I’ve said previously, there’s something about the anticipation leading up to the big moment, whether it’s presents under the tree or simply appreciating the little things while Santa makes his rounds.  All the shopping’s done, and everyone is where they’re supposed to be, which is why this song—featuring a family actually savoring the moment while telling the children “Don’t you worry, we would never lie / Santa’s sleigh is tearing through the sky”—is so magical.  It’s a moment’s respite from the chaos leading up to the event, and the chaos that inevitably follows.  Rest well, my friends.

Honorable mentions:  “Christmas Mice,” “Naughty Elf,” and “A-1 Instructional Barbering Plus.”

December 25th:  Tim Minchin, “White Wine in the Sun”

For Christmas Day, I offer to you the live version of Australian-British artist Tim Minchin’s “White Wine in the Sun,” which I’m sure is an unlikely choice.  Of all the songs to present on the 25th, I offer one written by an “avowed atheist” who, regardless of his stance on organized religion, likes the holiday because of what it means to him:  a chance to see his family back in Perth (True).  And while he acknowledges his reservations with harnessing ancient religions to sell “PlayStations and beer” (line 10), “Minchin acknowledges the contradictions inherent in celebrating a festival he doesn’t believe in and moves on.  He turns it into a positive” (True).  The song also features one of the most positive takes on family in my list, which is what you want in a song for Christmas Day.  After all, whether it’s by blood or by choice, “wherever you are and whatever you face / These are the people who’ll make you feel safe in this world” (lines 41-42).  Honorable mention:  Stephen Colbert and Elvis Costello’s “There Are Much Worse Things to Believe In” and The Winter Sounds’ “George Bailey, Astronaut.”

December 26th:  Bill Lloyd, “The Day After Christmas”

One more, I promise.  Digitally released in 2012, this Boxing Day tune emphasizes the importance of found family—the friends and acquaintances that, in many ways, become as important to you as blood.  These are the people who stand with you even as blood relatives disappear due to distance, death, or other unfortunate circumstances.  I like the sentiment here, as the singer—whose “Christmas wish was to not be alone” (line 21)—invites the whole bar back to his place after last call because “It felt like a family” (line 4).

Another reason I like this song is because it is about new beginnings, as “The day after Christmas is always the day / You clean up and throw out the messes you made” (lines 9-10).  It goes without saying that this year—along with the past several—were a mess, with war, disease, and political divides reaching an almost apocalyptic peak.  But, fortunately, we’re only days away from a new year, as well as the hope that things will improve.  After all, “It’s another new day to start over again” (line 12). Honorable mention: blink-182's "Boxing Day."

***

I hope you all enjoyed this playlist. Say what you will about the songs on this list—that they're festive, sad, offensive, or strange—but they're not boring, and hopefully they gave you some new perspective on already pretty well-worn ground. Because it may be just another stupid Christmas, but I love it just the same ... and I hope all of you do as well.

Merry Christmas to all of you, and Happy Holidays to all the rest.

Works Cited

“Christmas Songs That Don’t Suck.”  Maxim Magazine, Dec. 2004, pp. 104.

Fischer, Jonathan L.  “You Might Even Say It Blows!”  The New Republic, 21 Dec. 2012, newrepublic.com/article/111092/where-have-all-the-pop-christmas-hits-gone.  Accessed 17 Dec. 2023.

Kezin, Mitchell, director.  Jingle Bell Rocks!  Oscilloscope Films, 2013.

Seal, Mark.  “Billy Joel’s Big Apple.”  Internet Archive, 22 Oct. 2009, web.archive.org/web/20091022143026/http://www.americanwaymag.com/christmas-paul-simon-steve-martin-st-regis-new-york.  Accessed 17 Dec. 2023.

True, Everett.  “White Wine in the Sun by Tim Minchin—A Christmas Song for the Non-Believers.”  The Guardian, 22 Dec. 2014, theguardian.com/music/2014/dec/23/white-wine-in-the-sun-by-tim-minchin-a-christmas-song-for-the-non-believers#:~:text=The%20song%20he%20wrote%20about,and%20distrust%20of%20institutionalised%20religion.  Accessed 19 Dec. 2023.

@ChipGreene.  Comment on “Silver Bells – Steve Martin & Paul Simon.”  YouTube, n.d., youtube.com/watch?v=HXN72rbXAr0.  Accessed 17 Dec. 2023.

Image courtesy of Warner Bros. Discovery and Warner Bros. Home Entertainment.  YouTube videos courtesy of oscopelabs, Ron Sexsmith, MC Chris, Happy Fangs, TheKillersMusic, The Official Sarah McLachlan, OfficialEels, Jill Sobule, FucketeerFunPage!, Bartosz Andrzejewski, Ray Charles, Harvey Danger – Topic, Dance Hall Crashers – Topic, Rachael Yamagata, The LeeVees – Topic, New West Records, LCD Xmas, VERVEFORECASTVEVO, ThePoguesOfficial, Social Distortion, alyankovic, The Everly Brothers, Corey Taylor, Maxwell Miranda Parsley - Topic, Tim Minchin, and Bill Lloyd – Topic channels.